my words.. my world..(Chayashree Pathak).

#notsoperfect #notsoperfectmom #mothersday Oh I am such a mess I am so tired.. Am I even a mom? I do not always understand why you are crying.. And sometimes even I fail to stop those tears and tantrums.. Oh.. am I even a mom? I do get tired of the same routine.. and wish for those me moments With the topping of that constant guilt!! Ahh.. am I at all a good mom? I get angry, I lose patience... I sometimes let you eat those fries and forget to take you to the loo on time.. Why am I not like other moms? The moms who appear in books, movies in the selfish world Where the mom is perfect and knows it all She sacrifices and sacrifices and still smiles She cries and feels guilty all the time Yes, I am not that mom I am not perfect, I choose to be messy I choose to avoid the ride of guilt I am not in the race to be the super mom Instead let me be the “human” mom... Just let me be that “not so perfect” mom!! ... Chaya

I shouted from the gate Mommy Sorry I got late I was playing with my horse Seeing the sun playing with the clouds And then suddenly I saw him and his eyes Mommy Sorry I got Late I wanted to help him  I thought he lost his way You have always taught me to help others I just wanted to oblige to what you say Mommy Sorry I got late But he looked like a nice man He looked at me with loads of love I was perplexed seeing him stand Mommy Sorry I got late He was of my Grandpa’s age He said I reminded him of his Granddaughter And he would love to see my horse Graze Mommy Sorry I got late But He played then with me and the horse I told him I need to reach home before it would get dark He patted my head and blessed me with his heart  I ran home bidding him goodbye As I wanted to reach home before it would get dark Mommy Sorry I got late But I cannot lie Wish it would have happened this way On that fateful day Wish ...

Storms come and go.. I still stand strong... I walk through the sun and rain...knowing I am all alone... I saw u coming towards me... Thought u would also pass by.... You stood near me, Hold me tight and started walking along... My eyes had questions..I was  resistant  to walk... You made me calm..You made me believe.... You made me walk... It was difficult to  realize  I have a companion...deep inside me I knew you are the one I waited for.. but the other me still struggles to believe.. Another storm coming our way...I hold your hands tight... You kissed me light and the smile came at corners of my lips.... Yes I smiled.... And I smiled...... ... Chaya

Word…. Sometimes hurts..sometimes heals Word.. Sometimes happiness…sometimes grief.. Word… Sometimes struggle..sometimes success.. Word… Sometimes love..sometimes hate.. Word… Sometime anger..sometimes care.. Word.. Sometimes fake..sometimes truth… Word…. #word .... Chaya

While I was standing at the seashore….. The wind that touched my face had your fragrance…. While walking I realized..the sand was very soft…. Was it because…I was walking towards you?? At night, when the moon looked at me.. I shyly smiled.. Was it because… I was waiting for you?? When I tried holding the raindrops.. Never felt so sensuous before… Was it because.. I was in love with you .. I was perplexed, was smiling for some strange reason… But the journey became more awaiting than the destination… Was it because, u were accompanying me? You make me complete.. you make me more close to myself… You make me the ME… You make me love myself…. Is it because.. I am in love ..in love with you?? #love ... Chaya

I can forgive you for leaving me… But how can I forgive u for giving me loneliness… I can forgive you for hurting me.. But how can I forgive you for the emptiness … I can forgive you for calling me weak… But how can I forgive you for letting me show my strength,.. I can forgive you for all the fights.. But how can I forgive you for not being able to be in love afterward.. I can forgive you for the tears..but how can I forgive you for not being able to smile afterward… I can forgive you for all the waiting.. how can I forgive you for not being able to move on… I can forgive you for everything.. But how can I forgive you for taking my life away…. I know loneliness makes me strong…  But I still prefer to be weak.. I still prefer to be with you…. I can forgive you, but still, I WON'T…. …………… Chaya

Sometimes in life we get stuck.. Then suffocation starts, frustration crops… I'm trying..trying day and night to come out of it… But it's like a web….getting into it more… Thought would stay calm and wait… would let the river flow.. and clean the mess I waited… but it was the storm that came…. I closed my eyes…hoping the storm would not see me and would change its lane… Yes!! I was stupid..could not avoid dat…. Still I hoped …. Still I dreamed… I was speechless…. I was tired… The energy was drained… but I was still fighting… My legs were shivering..but I was still walking…coz I saw the dot of light…. Ya… it wasn’t a ray… just a dot…. But still I hoped…still I dreamed…. ... Chaya