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Numb

Let me stay numb Maybe for a little longer Maybe for a day, a year, or for an eternity It is easy that way I don’t need to think of you And I don’t need to feel the pain I can’t anymore, you see I can’t anymore So just let me stay numb For a little longer I see you in shadows Trying to break the window I built Yeah, yeah, I did not build a wall As I had to see you once in a while You came, wrapped in the pain I could not bear anymore I could not breathe anymore I could not see anymore So you know, right, I had to go numb At least for a while So I could still think of you, in between, For a while… Like a muse Like a river Or like the rain And when the pain gets unbearable And the grief gets so heavy that I cannot carry it I have to… have to get numb Even if for a little bit Let me stay numb Maybe for a little longer Maybe for a day, a year, or for an eternity

My room

  The room is still, the world is wide, With nowhere left for me to hide. At first, the silence felt so cold, A heavy story, left untold. But then I sat and breathed the air, And found a "me" I’d hidden there. No need for crowds or noisy cheers, To wash away the lonely fears. For happiness is not a place, Or someone else’s smiling face. It’s like a seed that starts to grow, In quiet soil, soft and slow. The sun is solo in the sky, Yet holds its golden head up high. So I will shine and stand alone, On a happy kingdom all my own.

The Old Sweater

  The sweater waits in a quiet drawer, soft as a winter that forgot the sun. Its scent, dust, pine walls, a hint of rain... brings back a girl who never rushed her seasons. She used to wipe her sweaty palms on it, press her cheek to its wool, Or sometimes simply smell the freshness in winter morning… After so many seasons, it is still carrying warmth the way small hands carry secrets- clumsy, but tender. Now she lives where streets don't echo, where trains speak louder than sparrows, Where winter is just deadlines and trips.. where sweaters are just clothes and not love stitched in yarn. Still, on nights the moon feels far, she breathes in the old smell again, and somewhere inside her ribs a tiny version of herself curls up, reclaiming the wool like a story, Peace and sorrow meeting quietly in her heart - at the same time.. She forgets she ever outgrew the town that first taught her warmth. The sweater always holds a piece of herself when she needed that little girl…

The Last Letter- Part 5- THE FINAL SHOW

 ( she was ready to face her darkest fear. Ready to face Arjun.. Read Part 4 here) Read from beginning PART 5 : THE FINAL SHOW Maya doesn't know how loud her thoughts are. How easily they bleed into her face. How quickly her fear turns into something beautiful. How beautiful of a painting she is. Maya... she was always going to be different, and Arjun realized it the moemnt he saw her. The others had cracked too quickly. They begged, they ran, they disappointed him. They never understood him. But Maya? She had a spine made of quiet storms. When she looked at him on the bridge, he knew. He knew she saw only his gentle surface. And he let her. Her laugh melted into his brain like sugar. Her smallest habits became sacred rituals. The way she tucked her hair. The way she reread the last line of a page before turning it. The way her eyes twinkled when she looked at him. He remembered everything. People collect memories, but he collected moments of her, her expressio...

The Last Letter - Part 4

  (... She needed to fight back.... Read Part 3 ) Read from Beginning PART 4:  The Hunt Maya did the one thing Arjun didn't expect. She returned to his past. She visited the town he lived in before meeting her. It  was small, quiet, and full of people who sighed at the mention of his name. His name felt like a quiet warning. The librarian remembered him well. "The girl before you?" she whispered. "Her name was Riya. Sweet thing. Always reading or sketching. They met here only. He was very sweet when they first met. But then .. then he became… attached." "What happened to her?" Maya asked. The woman's lips tightened, with a hesitation she replied, "She.. she disappeared." Maya's stomach twisted. She found Riya's parents as well. They refused to let her inside until she mentioned Arjun's name. Their grief clung to the air like humidity. Their eyes were heavy, with grief and anger. "He ruined her," ...

The Last Letter - Part 3

  ( and the faintest rustle of a letter fluttering to the floor: See you soon.  Read Part 2  ) Read from Beginning PART 3:  SHADOWS For the first few nights, Maya could not sleep. Every creak in her apartment felt like footsteps. Every reflection in the window felt like eyes watching her. The police interviewed her, took her statement, and searched for Arjun. It was an extensive search. But it was as if Arjun never existed. He vanished. And then the small things started to happen. Small disturbing events. A single rose left on her doorstep. Frequent missed calls. And one day there was a sketch taped to her balcony railing--- her face, soft and smiling, drawn in the exact style Arjun used. And a note: Maya, I'm proud of you for telling the police. You want them to find me. It means you still believe that we belong together. ---A Her hands trembled, but she immediately called the police and reported it. They checked cameras, and asked every passer...

The Last Letter : Part 2

Part 2:  (...On the floor: another letter with her name on it... Read Part 1) Read Part 1 Another letter Maya, I’m sorry. I can't stop myself. I shouldn't care for you… but I do.   I shouldn't have fallen for you... but I did. If you're reading this, I've already left. ---A A sudden creak made her turn  A man in a dark blue jacket stood in the doorway. Not Arjun, someone else. "You shouldn't be here," he said with a  trembling voice---not with threat, but with fear. "Where is Arjun?" she demanded. He swallowed. "Do you know what he did? Years ago? The reason he keeps moving from city to city? You think he is sweet? You think he is gentle?" She took a step back, comfused. "What are you talking about?" The man stepped closer, raising his hands animatedly. "I'm not here to hurt you. I've been tracking him since the last incident. He gets close to someone--fixates on them, and... and it never en...