my words.. my world..(Chayashree Pathak).

  The sweater waits in a quiet drawer, soft as a winter that forgot the sun. Its scent, dust, pine walls, a hint of rain... brings back a girl who never rushed her seasons. She used to wipe her sweaty palms on it, press her cheek to its wool, Or sometimes simply smell the freshness in winter morning… After so many seasons, it is still carrying warmth the way small hands carry secrets- clumsy, but tender. Now she lives where streets don't echo, where trains speak louder than sparrows, Where winter is just deadlines and trips.. where sweaters are just clothes and not love stitched in yarn. Still, on nights the moon feels far, she breathes in the old smell again, and somewhere inside her ribs a tiny version of herself curls up, reclaiming the wool like a story, Peace and sorrow meeting quietly in her heart - at the same time.. She forgets she ever outgrew the town that first taught her warmth. The sweater always holds a piece of herself when she needed that little girl…

 ( she was ready to face her darkest fear. Ready to face Arjun.. Read Part 4 here) Read from beginning PART 5 : THE FINAL SHOW Maya doesn't know how loud her thoughts are. How easily they bleed into her face. How quickly her fear turns into something beautiful. How beautiful of a painting she is. Maya... she was always going to be different, and Arjun realized it the moemnt he saw her. The others had cracked too quickly. They begged, they ran, they disappointed him. They never understood him. But Maya? She had a spine made of quiet storms. When she looked at him on the bridge, he knew. He knew she saw only his gentle surface. And he let her. Her laugh melted into his brain like sugar. Her smallest habits became sacred rituals. The way she tucked her hair. The way she reread the last line of a page before turning it. The way her eyes twinkled when she looked at him. He remembered everything. People collect memories, but he collected moments of her, her expressio...

  (... She needed to fight back.... Read Part 3 ) Read from Beginning PART 4:  The Hunt Maya did the one thing Arjun didn't expect. She returned to his past. She visited the town he lived in before meeting her. It  was small, quiet, and full of people who sighed at the mention of his name. His name felt like a quiet warning. The librarian remembered him well. "The girl before you?" she whispered. "Her name was Riya. Sweet thing. Always reading or sketching. They met here only. He was very sweet when they first met. But then .. then he became… attached." "What happened to her?" Maya asked. The woman's lips tightened, with a hesitation she replied, "She.. she disappeared." Maya's stomach twisted. She found Riya's parents as well. They refused to let her inside until she mentioned Arjun's name. Their grief clung to the air like humidity. Their eyes were heavy, with grief and anger. "He ruined her," ...

  ( and the faintest rustle of a letter fluttering to the floor: See you soon.  Read Part 2  ) Read from Beginning PART 3:  SHADOWS For the first few nights, Maya could not sleep. Every creak in her apartment felt like footsteps. Every reflection in the window felt like eyes watching her. The police interviewed her, took her statement, and searched for Arjun. It was an extensive search. But it was as if Arjun never existed. He vanished. And then the small things started to happen. Small disturbing events. A single rose left on her doorstep. Frequent missed calls. And one day there was a sketch taped to her balcony railing--- her face, soft and smiling, drawn in the exact style Arjun used. And a note: Maya, I'm proud of you for telling the police. You want them to find me. It means you still believe that we belong together. ---A Her hands trembled, but she immediately called the police and reported it. They checked cameras, and asked every passer...

Part 1: Love at First Sight, or…?  The first time Maya saw Arjun, he was standing alone on the old stone bridge that overlooked the river, hands tucked in his jacket pockets, hair messy from the breeze, staring at the water as if it were speaking to him.  When she approached, he smiled softly. Almost shy. But in his eyes, just for a second....she saw something else. Something cold. Something Intense.  She didn't believe in love at first sight. She believed in books, Monday routines, and exactly three coffees per day. But something about the quiet way he smiled when she asked if he was okay made her pause, just long enough for the universe to slip something into place, as if something fluttered in her stomach, may be for a nano second.  Their meetings on the bridge became routine. Maya read books she barely remembered; Arjun watched the river or sketched in a frayed notebook. He was charming in a broken-boy way, effortlessly drawing out her curiosity.  "Moved her...

Sometimes I am the light  And sometimes I cease to exist like the rays   Sometimes it is about us   And all other times, it is JUST about us   Sometimes we spiral over ‘what if’s   And sometimes it is just how it is  Sometimes when we are together and the world starts to disappear  Ironically we find each other …   And all other times…   it is JUST about us    It has always been JUST about us !

  May be someday our paths will cross Will u smile or just stare and pass Will u look at me with the same way you used to look at me Or this time you will have more questions for me Will you wait till we get a moment just for us to talk Or just hold my hand and start talking The way u used to knowing i am all yours Will you start with a sorry or with your own set of questions  Who knows, may be we both need a closure And may be we dont We may just stay like this…. Ignoring each other’s existence for the rest of our lives.. And hoping our paths dont cross.. Because the storm it wil bring will not leave anything to hold!!

  N o matter how old I am, I don’t think the butterflies and cold feet would ever go away. The nervousness is at its peak when it is finally the “Launch” day of my new book… But not only me, even “Shreya” is equally nervous. And guess who is trying to calm her down? “Riya” from “Till the End of Time”. Riya: So how are you feeling? Shreya: Well… excited and equally nervous. Riya (with a chuckle): I can understand the excitement part.. but why nervous? Shreya: Well nervous because I am not sure if they will love me as much as they loved you... Riya: ha ha ha... Yeah!! I was nervous too! Was worried if they would like someone like me… you know... someone so ‘Riya-ish’… but you know what? I was just being me.. and they loved me and my story!! Shreya: hmm Riya: So don’t worry!!! You be you, and they will love you. And you are amazing. So confident, fiery… Shreya: Yeah.. but at heart, I am just… Riya(putting her finger on her lips): Shhhhh!! Let them find that out!!! I am sure they will ...

 Let us go for a walk Leaving our phones behind.. Just you and I, And just for a while... While we are out, Let us talk about anything and everything... I will talk about the moon and you about your cricket! For a change you talk and I do the listening, Just for a while!! Let us escape to a world we fantasized when we weren't together, Holding hands, walk in the rain... talk and giggle... A soft touch to make me blush... Just you and I for a while! Let us be just you and I for a while, And then we can come back home and worry about the mess, the dinner, the chores... And be all the versions that we have become... But for a while, just be you and I What say? Just You and I for a while?

  Let us do this all over again Let us rewrite our story Let us add another day after our forever Shall we? Let's cross all the bridges, or burn them if need be Let's swim the ocean halfway and take the road we fancied... Let us meet where we always wanted to be, where we meant to be Let us add another day after our forever, shall we? Let us hold each other little tighter this time My fear should disappear at the music of your heartbeat Kiss me with a little more passion this time,  The pain should melt away in the warmth of the love that we feel Stand with me a little stronger, walk with me a little longer Hold me when I stumble, push me when I fumble... Be my Spring, by my Christmas,  Be my home for a little longer... Let us do everything right this time, everything little more, Let us rewrite our story Let us add another day after our forever Shall we? @chayashreepathak

Being a girl, was her choice. She is sure she fought with the lord to be born, Most of them on earth still prefer the other chromosome... Wasn’t aware so many experiences would await in the planet earth, Never thought there is a “user manual” for being a girl... The society tells us what to do, what not to what to wear and what not to what and how to say, sit, walk, sleep and how not to... The list is extensive, but don’t worry, The ‘user manual’ has covered it all... The society did a splendid job to keep it warm, And many added extra pages by being or finding the so called ‘good girl’... Then the time comes when the girl becomes a woman, and meets some pseudo feminists ... From outside educated and civilized, They promise they don’t follow the manual, Alas! they do, just with some conditions applied... She saw new pages getting added This time hypocrisy was to be blamed... ‘you can wear whatever you want, just not in front of the elders. you can do whatever you want, just that th...

And just like the sky and the earth, just the two train tracks... We are together, yet we will never meet! Parallel they call it, we call it love, being together without meeting has its own charm... We are not bound by the society, nor the norms, our hearts are with each other, somewhere in the deepest corner... I won't lie, I started to believe in our own lie, like we feel the sky meets the earth on the horizon, when we see it from far... My heart believed that we have our own horizon too, and someday... someday we will meet there... Till then, let's carry each other in our hearts, tell our story with various names and laugh... Let's deny calling it love... And, on lonely nights, on rainy days,  on the spring mornings, on a sunny bright day of summer,  And, on just every day... Let's wait for our horizon to arrive... soon...!!!

Sometimes I scribble Sometimes I play with words,   They call it a poem, I call it “you”! Sometimes I doodle Sometimes I color, They call it a painting, I call it "you"!   Sometimes I smile Sometimes I cry,   They call it emotion, I call it “you”!   Sometimes I talk, a lot Sometimes, I am quiet, awfully though,   They call it moods, I call it “you”!   Sometimes I scribble Sometimes I play with words,   They call it a poem, I call it “you”!!    

  Today, once again, you woke me up with a nudge You were smelling like the December…   With the eyes half opened, I saw you staring out of the window Face full of displeasure, like the ocean before the storm…   I thought of walking up to you, but you started jumping around like a deer  teasing me to the core...   You can poke all my senses, you know? And yet I don't hold you tight enough I always let you go, only to regret and repent later…   Still, you keep coming back, you keep pushing me But I would always be the ignorant usual self…   Sometimes you rant incessantly about how I keep ignoring you And occasionally you just stand there staring at me with eyes full of questions...   Today, I wanted to hold your hand again, but you once again decided to tease me and hide You, my passion, someday I will hug you and love you with all the love I have, with all the love you deserve!!   Till then, please just hang in there, and keep your part of th...

“Stop fidgeting with that ring! Will you?”, he almost yelled at her. “What? Why? I am just used to it!”, She replied looking away from him. "Well, you are not married anymore. Come on! Enjoy the Divorce, Enjoy the freedom girl!”, He said pushing the cup of coffee towards her. “I know, I know. But I just can’t remove it. I am so used to it. Maybe it is just an accessory or maybe a reminder of good memories!! It is just.. just difficult, difficult to remove ☹ ... A habit of 5 years, you know,” She sighed while picking up the coffee. Her face was covered with guilt and sorrow. “Lol, let it go.. you are out of it now.. leave it and move on”, he said with a smile and a wink. “Yes, I should. I promise I will soo....oon”, she said as her eyes seemed glued at the door. He turned to see what made her take 15 extra seconds to finish her last word. He felt a slight thud inside but his face managed to feign a smile. “See, this is God’s sign!! Remove the ring and...

“Did you like it?”, He asked handing over the cup of coffee. “What? Ouch, hot!!”, She took a sip of the coffee and it almost burnt her tongue. "Of course, it will be hot, it is not cold coffee", he smiled. “Money Heist! Did you like it?” "Oh yeah, such a gripping one. I am still on season 3 though." He laughed, “haha, already season 3? Wow. I knew you would like it!” She smiled and looked at him. It has been a while that they sat down to have coffee and these small conversations. It has been a while she has seen him laughing for something like this. When they were newly-weds, they would probably not have imagined a day like this. Watching a tv show or movie without each other was similar to breaking each other’s trust. Once he was busy in back to back calls, and she watched an episode of Breaking Bad while chopping vegetables; she had to spend two days to pursue him. That was their way to express love, it was their thing to watch movi...

#parenting #humanmom situational patenting The other day my kid was to dance with a group in an event, he is just 3 years old and we all were super excited. He loved his classes, he enjoyed the song and he was very excited about the event as well. It was more of jumping rather than dance. On the day of the event, when the song started he froze,h started looking here and there.. with the lighting and so many people, he was overwhelmed... I secretly wept while I was holding the camera, I realized he was overwhelmed but I decided not to intervene... After the event, I gave him a hug and told him he did a great job. We ate food and while driving back home I told him, "great job betu!! You danced well. Momma had fun!"  He did not reply,  So I repeated again. But this time he replied.. Mamma... I did not dance.. I was scared... These words coming from a 3-year-old shook me, we stopped the car and immediately spoke to him more. He said, "There were so many peopl...

#MeToo are not just words, she whispered! A silent nod she got in reply!! He realized its time to talk about it, the “Me” has no gender after all! Few questioning eyes stared at him, sigh!! It can happen in a marriage as well, The 40-year old mother of 2 typed in the comment space. Wiped her tears while pressing hard on the backspace !! All games make me happy except this one,  She asked with teary eyes! He gave her the chocolate and walked away saying goodbye!! For some metoo has no meaning For some me too has no time, gender or voice While some question the courage For some it is just another day, without any change!! #metoo .... Chaya

#notsoperfect #notsoperfectmom #mothersday Oh I am such a mess I am so tired.. Am I even a mom? I do not always understand why you are crying.. And sometimes even I fail to stop those tears and tantrums.. Oh.. am I even a mom? I do get tired of the same routine.. and wish for those me moments With the topping of that constant guilt!! Ahh.. am I at all a good mom? I get angry, I lose patience... I sometimes let you eat those fries and forget to take you to the loo on time.. Why am I not like other moms? The moms who appear in books, movies in the selfish world Where the mom is perfect and knows it all She sacrifices and sacrifices and still smiles She cries and feels guilty all the time Yes, I am not that mom I am not perfect, I choose to be messy I choose to avoid the ride of guilt I am not in the race to be the super mom Instead let me be the “human” mom... Just let me be that “not so perfect” mom!! ... Chaya

I shouted from the gate Mommy Sorry I got late I was playing with my horse Seeing the sun playing with the clouds And then suddenly I saw him and his eyes Mommy Sorry I got Late I wanted to help him  I thought he lost his way You have always taught me to help others I just wanted to oblige to what you say Mommy Sorry I got late But he looked like a nice man He looked at me with loads of love I was perplexed seeing him stand Mommy Sorry I got late He was of my Grandpa’s age He said I reminded him of his Granddaughter And he would love to see my horse Graze Mommy Sorry I got late But He played then with me and the horse I told him I need to reach home before it would get dark He patted my head and blessed me with his heart  I ran home bidding him goodbye As I wanted to reach home before it would get dark Mommy Sorry I got late But I cannot lie Wish it would have happened this way On that fateful day Wish ...